PWB: January 2Pandemic2Isolated + Beer + Pies

Trouble with Arsenal is they always try to walk it in.

That's true. See you later Moss.

Actually it's not true anymore. Wenger and Walcott are long gone from Arsenal. Walcott moved to Everton and subsequently to Southampton, where he rarely contributes to their ludicrous displays. Wenger was forcably retired after a meme-driven campaign. You may have seen the words "Wenger Out" in such incongruous locations as a WWE match, an anti-Trump rally, and a Pepsi ad. A driving force behind this was the excrable Arsenal Fan TV, a popular YouTube channel of raging, uber-toxic Arsenal fans egging each other on to say more and more insane things about 1-1 draws away to Watford. They were so toxic that the club took legal action to force them not to use the word "Arsenal" in their name so now they're called AFTV. They're still wankers.

Arsenal replaced Wenger with first a vampire -

[Album] imgur.com

(His catchphrase was "good ebening"by the way)

and then a Ken Doll brought to life by an evil wizard.

[Album] imgur.com

And as I said, they don't even try to walk it in anymore. They play an ultra-defensive style based around tactical fouls, and have lodged themselves in the upper-mid-table reaches of the Premier League. Until very recently, their most highly-paid player wasn't even registered in their squad and was seemingly being paid £250,000 a week to play FIFA and take the piss out of the club on Twitter. They still do ludicrous displays, but everything else has changed.

Maybe we should have a football thread. As a long suffering Everton fan, I feel a need to vent after the Newcastle performance.

My wife watches football, I have no interest in it at all. She spends 50% of her time shouting "close him down!" and the other 50% shouting "get rid of it!" I have no idea what either of these phrases mean.

A football thread!?

Might as well have a beer and pies thread while we are at it.

I mean, it's that or a 17th Yakuza thread from Garwoofoo.

My wife watches football, I have no interest in it at all. She spends 50% of her time shouting "close him down!" and the other 50% shouting "get rid of it!" I have no idea what either of these phrases mean.

The first one, "close him down," you shout when a player is in an argument with another player who refuses to shut up about something. The arguments usually start over throw-ins. It's important that players have their minds on the ball rather than petty disputes, so you tell them to "close him down" when the argument has gone on long enough and you need your player to issue a final cutting remark in order to finish the discussion and get on with the game. Some players, notably Robbie Savage, have historically been employed by teams with the sole aim of getting into arguments with the more talented players on the opposing teams in order to distract them.

"Get rid of it" is quite a bit meaner. It's similar to what reddit calls "going no contact" or mumsnet calls "LTB" (leave the bastard.) Basically, in any given football match, most of the players will be in a relationship with someone else on the pitch, whether that be a team-mate, opponent, or even sometimes the referee. If a player's partner does something particularly upsetting during the match, which might be a nasty foul, a bad pass, a humiliating trick, or sending the player off, then the fans shout "get rid of it" - the "it" in question being the player's partner. The reason I think this is a bit mean is that I don't think it's right to refer to a person as "it" even if they did nutmeg you.

Makes perfect sense, thank you.

What’s a Yiddo?

Erm…

Ruh roh.

A football thread!?

Might as well have a beer and pies thread while we are at it.

I am here for excellent pie-and-beer-based content.

See that this is done, someone.

I don't drink beer, but I do have a pie maker (basically a sandwich toaster but it makes pies) that knocks out the best things. Given pies aren't a thing in Germany, that's a godsend.

I had a couple of cans of this recently, it tasted like alcoholic custard so not especially recommended but you can't beat the name.